i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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