Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
