At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
