So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
