You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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