i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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