I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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