it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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