your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
