The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
