In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
