So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize