Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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