Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
