that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do vagina's smell?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
