I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
