girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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