Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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