You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
