there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
