Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
