When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
