tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
