She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
one might say we're banned from that church
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
