Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
