jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
