She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
