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hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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