no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
