He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize