He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
