Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
