And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
