I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
