she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
