The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
