the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
