its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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