forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
