A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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