I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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