is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
