i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
