there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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