I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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