spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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