i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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