rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
this must be what syphilis tastes like
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize