The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize