you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize