I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
