it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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