I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
