ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
