thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
