Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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