You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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