Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
