So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
