where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
