She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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