HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
