What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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