tell your sister to shave her snatch
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
