Four minutes until I can fart!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
wow bdsm is so cute
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