I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
