ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
